when i needed empathy, i got a lecture.
when i needed a hug, i got a lecture..
i thought of this after i was crying and natalia started giving me a lecture.
she was saying this…
then when i laughed a little because i heard “promise me” so many times before, especially in south america, the world capital of guilt trips, she stopped and then said…
“im worried about how this affects you. and i dont like this. i think it is very very very important that you think about these question like understanding and that se impotar about these questions but i dont think it is good that it affects you so much because the world exists and you exists…”
i was writing all this down. when she said “the world exists and you exist”
i wrote “now i feel lectured to” and i stopped her
then i said ,
“so you care about me?” yes
“how much” 7
“and you dont want me to get hurt” right.
how do you feel when you think about me suffering because i am affected by the problems of the world?
i don’t know.
do you feel happy?
when i see you hurt? no
do you feel sad?
a little. but i think it is interesting.
when you cried and you covered your face with your hands – i wanted to take a picture. im sad but i think interesting.
i think you are interesting too but lacking a little empathy
(she didnt give me a hug)
remember when you asked me if i cry and i say to you no because i am so closed to the feelings? this is because i have been hurt so much so i close myself from my feelings to protect myself.
at some point i wrote im worried. (that she would not give a crying child a hug)